Storytelling...a Nichols birthright

So ever since we were little kids we were exposed to some great storytellers.  


I mean a good Nichols story would put shame to Aesop's Fables.  He would literally run back to his little hut in Greece and never come out again.


Anyway, since we were small children we were exposed to tales that ranged from a ferocious jack-a-lope that would come visit us in our rooms at night if we were bad (from our grandpa...Opa), to monkeys getting the drop on an unsuspecting member of the army (my dad).  


I am here tonight to share this little gem from one of the patriarchs of the family, my father.  


By the way I'm pretty much quoting him verbatim:


"It all started one hot, humid day in the jungles of Panama.  I was going through a survival training course  while I was in the Army.  We were learning to make traps for animals and todays' special.....monkey.  Now the trick to catching a monkey is to find a coconut and cut out a hole big enough for a monkey to put its hand in then tie it to a tree or something else with a firm foundation.  Then you put something shiny in it to catch the monkeys curious eye.  The trick is that they can get their hands in but when they grab it and make a fist they can't pull it out.  Man monkeys are dumb.  


Now Dog, (my uncle and dad like to call all their buddies Dog...its really more pronounced like a drawn out Dawg) we set this trap and snuck away in the bushes for a while to wait and see what we get.  Not but a few hours later we hear  rustling around and screaming and we knew we hit pay dirt.  


We get out of the bushes and I swear fucking King Kong stuck his hand in there.  Not one of my army buddies wanted to go and do the deed of killing this amazing ape so we could eat.  Now me thinking I'm Rambo volunteered my services.  I get my knife out of its sheath and start walking toward it.  We exchange glances and I'm trying to figure out what my strategy is going to be, all the while this fucker has been backing up getting some slack in the rope.  As soon as I'm about to make my move, this monkey lets out a war scream and charges me, runs up my leg and starts beating me in the head with the coconut that's still attached to its hand.  I didn't know what the fuck to do, I was about to lay down and just accept my fate.  Never thought I would go out beaten to death by a monkey.  


All of a sudden I saw my opportunity as it raised its coconut hand up to deliver, most likely the final blow, I juked it in the chest with my knife. Haha! Fucker never saw it coming.  Then I pretty much fell to the ground thanking god that a monkey didn't take my life.  My squad leader came over to make sure I was alright and tried to close the massive gash the monkey left in my head.  You know what the moral of this story is Dog?  Never underestimate a monkey...never."


Now I've heard this story a hundred times and it keeps getting better and better.  


I'm not doubting the truthfulness of the story at all because one thing we don't do is lie, but we do love to embellish our stories.  This is basically the kind of stories, you the reader, can look forward to enjoying.  As a Nichols, we tend to get ourselves into certain situations that don't always end up good, yet makes for damn good stories.  


I hope you enjoy. 


And let this be a lesson to you.  Never, and I mean never, underestimate a monkey.

welcome to our world

Courtney here.


Let me begin by explaining the purpose of this blog space.


While some people have, what one would call, colorful families, we have a family that some have referenced to as out of the ordinary.


This blog will help you, the reader, understand why we are the way that we are. This will give you insight on the makings and adventures of what it is like to be a Nichols.


You may laugh.
You may cry.
But the moral of the story is:

A Nichols never gets one-uped.