just a few tickles, just a few.....

Courtney here.

So I realize it has been some time since I have shared a tale that may (or most likely may not) rival Ryan's antics. 

Here is what has been new with me the last few months.  If you don't read my blog, you must know that I tried my hand at online dating and have had some pretty interesting experiences.  Lucky for me now, I have met a fabulous (and delicious) guy, all the while laughing at the goons that have been hitting on me. 

The following guy takes the freakin cake.

He is 49 and is very discriptive in what he is looking for in a mate. 

This shit blows my mind.

Now here's the deal, you MUST read the entire text before looking at his profile photo.  It makes it that much more hysterical.  I promise.

Enjoy:

A moral, ethical Man seeks a moral, ethical woman for a life time of  love,devotion,adoration,a few tickles and lots of laughs along the way.

About Me: I spent many years taking care of my father, mother and brother, I  kept my promise to them, until they were one by one, called home by God  and now it is my turn at having a life.

I am very family oriented, but now I am thinking about myself and my needs. I want to know what
 it is like to be in love and be loved by someone.

All the qualities I seek in a mate below are the same qualities I possess. I  am an old school
 romantic at heart ( I was raised that way); I would love to be intertwined on the couch with the love of my life watching movies and eating popcorn.

Enjoying candle lit dinners for two, walks in the park or on the beach, talking about anything and everything.

I love all forms of motor sports. I do not have time to date a thousand people to find the right
one, nor do I have the patience for it.

I know that a deep and abiding friendship, that will grow into love and chemistry can only be
experienced by being together and dating and not through cyber space.

I am looking for a companion, wife and mother to our future child. I am  looking for a mate between 22 and 35 years old. I seek someone in this age range, because I am looking at the fertility health of my mate.

Let me explain further, the younger a woman is the better the chances are she will have a
healthy child and that is paramount as I want to have a child with her. I know that I would make a great husband and father. I have been ready for this for a very long time. I was always led to believe that everything falls in place in due time, well that is just NOT TRUE, you have to go after it and seize the day.

I love animals and work with them at various charities. My home is a menagerie of pets. I possess many interests and skills. I enjoy my  professional life and personal life.

I use both my head and my hands for work and fun. I am looking for the  following in a mate: A D and D ( drug and disease) free, drama-free, never married, no kids, non-smoker, social drinker, healthy, youthful, playful, fun,  spiritual, humorous, extroverted, adventurous, well spoken, conversant,  intelligent, romantic, passionate and affectionate female. She must be athletically inclined and willing to enforce a healthy life style on us both. I want a positive influence in my life.

I have a preference for blondes  with long hair ( shoulder or back length), and blue eyes.

I want her to be my Best Friend, Companion, Lover, Wife and Mother to our child.

Let me share with you where I want to be married: It is called Lost Pines Chapel, it overlooks a lake, the structure is freestanding and open, it is a architectural marvel and the form reminds me of the hands of God, himself.

My idea of a great honeymoon is staying at Goldeneye, in Oracabessa,  Jamaica. This was where Ian Flemming wrote 14 of the James Bond novels.  This was actually Ian's home until he passed away.

I am NOT looking for a Barbie Doll, far from it.

Here is what I am NOT interested in; divorced, separated, cheaters, bar flies, club queens, BBW, golddiggers, users, and scam artists.

In response to three members questions:

Yes, I can walk on hallowed ground without bursting into flames.

Yes I can look into a mirror and it does not shatter.

Yes I do cast a image in a mirror.

Wow, tough crowd on this site. If I have piqued your interest lets talk.

P.S. If  you have any suggestions on how I may improve my profile,please, by all means make
suggestions and I will incorporate them.

Thanks MikeM

Why do I get the feeling the following YouTube clip could accurately describe

an experience that would be had in this guy's wolf lair?